My Story

Let me tell you the real version. Not the before/after. Not the "I struggled and then figured it out and now everything is fine." The actual one.

The part nobody talked about

Depression showed up first. Quietly, the way it does. Before I had words for it, before I had tools for it, before I even knew that's what it was. I just thought I was tired. Or difficult. Or both.

I didn't have a plan for dealing with it. So my body found one on its own.

Binge eating wasn't a weakness. It was survival.

Food became the thing I could control when everything else felt impossible. It wasn't something I talked about, but it made sense, in the way that a lot of coping mechanisms make sense when you're just trying to get through the day.

I want to say that clearly, because someone reading this needs to hear it: binge eating wasn't a character flaw. It was a response. A very human, very understandable response to pain I didn't know how to carry any other way.

Then came the "fix."

I found a way to lose weight. It worked, technically. The number on the scale went down. But so did a lot of other things. The environments I was in, the path I was on: they weren't healthy. They were just smaller.

I was smaller. In every sense of the word.

And then it got worse before it got better.

I ended up in an abusive relationship. I can say that plainly now. At the time I couldn't even see it clearly. I was already so depleted, so far from myself, that I didn't have much left to protect. The unhealthy path had already done its work. The relationship finished the job.

When that ended, I had to figure out who I actually was. Not who I was trying to become. Not who someone else needed me to be. Just me.

Rebuilding from nothing.

I'm not going to pretend the rebuilding was graceful. It wasn't a montage. It was slow and weird and sometimes boring and sometimes devastating.

But it was mine. For the first time in a long time, I was building something that actually belonged to me.

Then food stopped being the enemy.

Bodybuilding found me at the right moment, or I found it, I'm not sure which. And something clicked that I hadn't expected: nutrition started working for me. Not as punishment. Not as control. As fuel.

I learned how to eat in a way that gave me energy instead of taking it. I learned how to train in a way that made me feel powerful instead of depleted. I stopped chasing smaller and started chasing stronger, and somewhere in that shift, the relationship I had with food changed completely.

It wasn't clean eating. It wasn't a 90-day transformation. It was, finally, something that made sense.

Levity.

That's what I named this. Because levity isn't something that gets handed to you. It's what's left when you put down everything you've been carrying that was never yours to carry.

I built Levity by Abbi because I wanted to help people get there faster than I did. With less damage. With better information. With someone in their corner who's actually been through it and isn't going to pretend that "just eat less and move more" is a personality.

You don't need another plan that makes you feel bad about yourself. You need one that actually works with your life: with your body, your history, your real schedule, and yes, your complicated relationship with food.

That's what we build here.